My pre-schooler recently had her pre-school shut down unexpectedly. Luckily, we were able to get her teacher to come finish out the last three months of the curriculum with her in a room at our house. My 4 1/2 year old was thrilled about this – until she saw what her teacher had brought with her on the first day. Along with the letter posters and pictures illustrating the days of the week, our teacher brought Mr. McNaughty, the time-out chair. Sadly, my child’s behind has more than a little familiarity with Mr. McNaughty as she likes to voice her opinion, loudly and often, even when her teacher is talking or everybody else is napping (imagine that – the child of two surgeons having strong opinions LOL)
So why am I telling you this (other than to discuss how cute my kids are)? Time-outs are a gentle way of motivating you to do something you don’t want to do. Nobody would hit their kids over the head with a hammer just ’cause they spilled their milk, that’s excessive (and illegal) punishment for a minor infraction – especially when you can put them in time-out instead and let them think about and learn from their mistakes. So why do we do beat ourselves up when our diets slip? Instead of saying we’re “bad” or we weren’t “good” with the food choices we made, why not take a mental step back, into an imaginary Mr. McNaughty chair and think about which meals weren’t ideal, what things we could change (realistically) and how to avoid habits or situations (e.g. eating out) that put us at risk for making the wrong choices like before.
When we label our behavior as “bad” it gives us license to just give up, to say – as my 4 year old does when she’s frustrated – I’m just a bad girl, I can’t do any better. We try to explain to her that she’s not bad, that one bad choice doesn’t topple over the whole apple cart. She’s a good person and therefore can make good choices, if she wants to. So are our patients. One ice-cream sundae (or gallon) won’t de-rail your weight loss plans, but it does provide a chance to learn how to make better or more moderated choices in the future.
4. April 2009 at 6:15 pm
Great blog. It may be the competitive nature in me..toward myself and weight gain..but I constantly (daily with every meal) reflect on the statement that Betty made at one of our meetings prior to my surgery in Dec. Betty “warned” me to never push the band to see how much I could eat, but rather to see how healthy I could eat and still stay within my box. This is a wonderful motivator! I wrote this down and read over it every morning. I am down 74 lbs, and have recently, per Dr. Heiker’s recommendation, begun running. I am up to 3/4 a mile. Having a daily reminder (Mr. Naughty Chair for a child) is a great tool to help make good choices!